quiet fridays newsletter #8: Conflict— run for the hills or face the fire?
Conflict. The word alone makes most introverts want to disappear into their calendar and “be busy” indefinitely.
It’s not that we can’t handle it—we just prefer harmony over unnecessary drama. But here’s the problem: avoiding conflict doesn’t make it go away. It just lets resentment simmer until it explodes (or worse, turns into a passive-aggressive email chain).
As Brené Brown says:
"Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind."
Insight:
Introverts & Conflict: A Love-Hate Relationship
Conflict isn’t bad—but we sure don’t seek it out. We love peace, but avoiding conflict often disrupts the calm we crave.
So, what do we do instead?
>Sidestep the tough conversations, hoping they'll go away
>Overthink the perfect response, and then freeze
>Hide behind email, where it’s easier to control the narrative
The better way? Clarity over avoidance.
>Stick to facts, not assumptions
>Prep, but don’t script
>Embrace silence—pauses help others process
Inspiration:
The "Hard Conversations Formula"
Simon Sinek breaks down the FBI Formula—a simple yet powerful way to navigate conflict:
> Feelings – State how the situation made you feel
> Behaviour – Describe the specific behaviour you observed
> Impact – Explain the impact it had
For example: Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try:
"When I shared my idea (behaviour), I felt unheard (Feeling), and it made me hesitant to speak up (Impact)."
The beauty of this approach? It keeps things factual, not personal—helping you stay clear and composed without escalating tension.
👉 Watch Simon Sinek’s breakdown for a quick masterclass on handling tough conversations like a pro.
Reflections:
Self-Check yourself
Where are you avoiding conflict?
✔ A colleague who interrupts?
✔ A direct report who’s not delivering?
✔ A boss who’s overloading you?
This week, ask yourself:
What’s the real fear behind avoiding this conversation, and what would change if you approached it not to win, but to understand and move forward?
Next time you avoid conflict in the name of keeping peace ask yourself that are you part of the problem or solution.
Sadaf Javed
Executive Coach & Founder
P.S. If you want to be confident about handling tough conversations then <let’s talk>
