quiet fridays newsletter #6: Networking without the cringe.
Let’s get real: networking often feels like a minefield for introverted leaders. The pressure to “work the room,” the dread of small talk, and the sheer exhaustion of pretending to be someone you’re not—it’s enough to make you want to skip the event altogether.
But what if I told you networking doesn’t have to be this way? What if it could actually feel authentic, energizing, and even enjoyable?
The secret? As Sahil Bloom says ‘Prepare for chaos & you’ll thrive in any condition’ So introverts—prep those nerves.
Insight:
Nerves are Normal—and actually helpful
Research shows that moderate stress can improve performance (Yerkes-Dodson Law, 1908), and reframing nerves as excitement helps you perform at your best (Dr. Alison Wood Brooks, 2013). So, instead of thinking I’m nervous, reframe it as I’m excited.
Tips to channel those nerves:
✔️ Arrive early. A few minutes to settle in can help calm your nerves.
✔️ Prepare ahead. Choose 2-3 people you want to connect with and research their interests or backgrounds.
Inspiration:
Small talk isn’t that deep
Here’s the thing—everyone knows small talk is just small talk. No one’s expecting a life-changing conversation. It’s just a way to open the door to deeper connections.
Tips for engaging conversations:
✔️ Make it about them. Listening and asking questions makes you memorable.
✔️ Leave them feeling good. A sincere smile and thoughtful comment go a long
>Check out How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes 📚—a great book filled with 92 practical tricks to create big success in personal/business relationships.
Reflections:
Make networking work for you
Reflect on past networking moments:
When did you feel most at ease? Why?
What’s your networking strength? (Deep listening, asking great questions?)
For your next event, put the insights into action:
Set a Simple Intention: Aim to learn 1 new thing or reconnect with 1 person.
Plan Your Exit: Give yourself permission to leave after 30 minutes of focused interaction.
Follow Up: Send a quick message referencing your chat to turn it into a meaningful connection.
Networking isn’t just about climbing the ladder—it’s about building a community of people who inspire, challenge, and support you. And as an introverted leader, you have a unique ability to create those kinds of connections.
Here’s to making networking feel less like a chore and more like an opportunity.
Sadaf Javed
Executive Coach & Founder
P.S. Know an introvert who dreads networking? Forward this their way. And if you're ready to sharpen your leadership presence, <let’s talk>.
