quiet fridays newsletter ed 2: Is authenticity rigid or fluid?
Welcome to another edition of QUIET FRIDAYS newsletter!
Today, we’re diving into something every introverted leader wrestles with at some point: balancing authenticity with the pressure to fit extroverted leadership expectations. Some call it “The Authenticity Trap.”
Sounds like a struggle, right? But don’t worry—you're not alone.
As promised, each edition brings you a mix of insight, inspiration, reframes, and reflections. All of it to help you lead authentically, even when external pressures try to pull you in a different direction.
Let’s get into it.
Insight:
The Authenticity Trap: Stay real, or adapt?
As leaders, introverts often feel pulled in two directions. On one side, there’s the desire to remain authentic—your quiet, reflective self. On the other, external forces scream for you to conform:
· "Speak up more!"
· "Show more energy!"
· "Be assertive!"
Uff!
Sociologist Arlie Hochschild termed this dilemma “emotional labour”—the exhausting act of suppressing your natural instincts to fit into societal moulds. But here’s the catch: authenticity isn’t about doing whatever feels good; it’s about aligning your actions with your values.
How do you stay YOU in a world demanding something else?
Inspiration:
A quote worth sitting with:
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
—Oscar Wilde
A talk to watch:
📺 Brené Brown’s TED Talk on The Power of Vulnerability touches on the importance of staying grounded in who you are, even in high-pressure environments. It’s a masterclass in navigating self-doubt while being true to your values.
Reframe:
Authenticity isn’t static—It’s strategic.
The trap lies in thinking authenticity is about being rigidly "yourself" in all scenarios. But the truth? Authenticity evolves.
Instead of asking:
"How do I stay the same?"
Ask:
"How can I stay aligned with my values while adapting to this moment?"
Start by defining your non-negotiables. For example:
· Value: Respect for others → Action: Listen deeply before responding.
· Value: Transparency → Action: Speak up, even if your voice shakes.
You can honour your core without betraying it.
Need help with defining values & actions? contact me on sadaf@quietthrivers.com
Reflections:
Questions for you
1. What signals have you received that make you feel like you need to "change" to lead?
2. Think of a time you adapted to a situation. Was it in line with your values, or did you feel you compromised?
If you'd like to dive deeper into this, feel free to reach out
Thanks for reading and reflecting.
The struggle to balance authenticity with leadership demands is real, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Reply and share your thoughts—I’d love to hear how you tackle this!
Cheers,
Sadaf Javed
Executive Coach & Founder
P.S. Don’t forget to pass this along to someone else who’s working to lead authentically.
